Listen, Learn, and Love - 3 Keys to Harmony

Dr. Joan's Advice

Date: 01/15/2014

By: Dr. Joan

Subject: Boyfriend Labels Her as Childish

Dear Stunned:

Just because you go home for family gatherings doesn’t mean you are childish. To the contrary, your close contact with family shows you are loving and considerate. Keep right on doing what you normally do in terms of family visits. Sounds as though you reap great emotional reward.

At least you know exactly what your boyfriend is thinking. If he says you are childish because you are close to your family, one has to wonder about his relationship to his own family. Does he visit his parents and siblings? Does he call them? Does he exchange any type of communication with them?

Chances are Boyfriend is jealous of the warm family harmony you enjoy with your parents, sisters, and brother. Or it could be he is fretting over something else, perhaps in his professional life, and he doesn’t like losing your closeness to him when you leave to visit your family. In either case, he may need to improve his circle of loved ones who provide emotional support. Finally, it seems that Boyfriend needs to increase his ability to give positive emotional support and understanding to others, including to you.

Whatever the reason for his criticism of you, here are my suggestions:

If you wish to continue your relationship with Boyfriend it is imperative you find out about his contact level with his family. Depending on what you discover, and if it seems safe and reasonable, try to gently move him toward increased contact with his parents and other family members. You must meet them yourself and get to know them. Also, arrange for him to meet your family. Let him feel the delight of a warm family embrace.

Dr. Joan’s Harmony Key: Hug your loved ones with all your might.

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