As women we tend to put others first: our husband, our partner, our children, our aging parents, our friends, and others who may be in need. From your description, you are a woman who has cared for other human beings, and even animals, all of your life. You started out by helping to raise your younger siblings. Today your immediate and extended family depends on you for loving assistance and you are at their beckon-call. At work, you have a position which calls upon you to give to others daily. You are active in your church which claims large amounts of your free time to give service to others.
I commend you for what you do for others. But you state you are unhappy in your primary relationships. Perhaps I can help by suggesting a small but vital change you can make instantly.
There is one word you must learn to use in more of your sentences: that word is “I.” Repeat after me: “I am important.” “I have needs.” “I have goals.” “I like ...” “I want ...”
Put yourself first in just one of your relationships and see what happens. By setting your goals and considering your needs, you will become more confident and secure in that relationship. Then try expanding the technique of “self-consideration” in each of your relationships. Your happiness will grow like never before and you will spread your joy to all those you love.