Listen, Learn, and Love - 3 Keys to Harmony

Dr. Joan's Advice

Date: 03/07/2013

By: Dr. Joan

Subject: Let Go of Resentment

Dear Teacher:

You say that you are ashamed for feeling resentful of your co-worker. Both of you teach the same grade and your co-worker was selected for an award, but you were not. Let’s explore three questions, get to the bottom of what is bothering you, and help you move ahead.

Question 1. Why do you feel resentful? I’m guessing your answer is that you thought you should have won the award. It may not surprise you to hear that others thought differently. There were judges, I assume, who weighed the evidence, whatever that may have been. Were the judges honest? We must assume they made their decision “fair and square.” This knowledge frees you. You can now set aside your resentment. Knock that chip off, square those now burdenless shoulders, and answer the next two questions.

Question 2. Have you congratulated your co-worker? If not, go to her immediately, extend your hand, and give her sincere congratulations on her award. Better yet, give her a hug.

Question 3. Have you ever sat with this co-worker and listened to her, talked with her, about anything significant? If not, arrange a time to do just that. You might present a problem to her that bothers you and ask her advice. Or ask her if there is a project that the two of you might work on together, perhaps engaging both of your classes in that project. I’m not a betting person, but I’ll bet, if you and your co-worker could team-teach on one unit, one subject, one project, the two of you would develop a lasting bond which would enrich each of your lives ... and the lives of your students.

Let me know, please, when you shake off all resentment and move forward with your life.

Dr. Joan’s Harmony Key: Our load gets lighter as every chip falls from our shoulders.

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